Post by Citris on Jul 21, 2020 11:49:37 GMT -4
So, first off this isn’t a hockey post, but, hey, I think around 9,000 words of draft recap over the past month has earned me a personal post haha.
It’s still slow for hockey talk, so, I thought it would be a good time to address the elephant in the room for some of you who may have noticed a few things.
Anyway, I’ll cut to the chase, you may have noticed I changed my gender indicator, this is because I am transgender.
I am a trans woman, which, for those who are unclear, means that I was assigned male at birth, but I feel more comfortable living my life as a woman. I am currently in the process of transitioning, meaning, I’m taking hormones to change my body (as well as exercise, growing my hair out, etc.). This is going to be a long process, but it’s something I feel I need to do.
I know this may not come as a surprise to all of you, but for those who are shocked, even those who feel a bit uncomfortable with the idea - that’s okay. You’re allowed to have feelings regarding this, all I ask is that you make an effort.
Some of you may never understand what gender dysphoria feels like, you may not understand why somebody would feel the need to transition from one gender to another, or live somewhere in between, and that’s ok. All I ask is that you make an effort to make me, and other trans folk in your life more comfortable.
Why did I think this was important to post?
Well, first and foremost, I’m not like I’m doing it for attention or anything, I just am sick of hiding it.
In an ideal world, that’s all I’d have to say, and I know for some of you, it is, and I thank you for that. However as much as Trans acceptance might be in a better place than it ever has been, It’s also true that we’re still very much seen as a deviation from the norm, or worse seen as weird or to be kept at arm's length.
I want to at least challenge that perception, I really don’t want to sound self-important, but I think over the years I have garnered at least some respect in the community, not just here, but the local hockey community in general.
If you have any respect for me, I just ask that you remember I’m fundamentally the same person now as I always have been, just in some slightly different packaging. If you respect me, I want you to internalize that you do have respect for a trans person, and that as people, we’re worthy of your respect and understanding.
I also want to make it easier for others to come out as well. I have faith in our community that I’ll be accepted, and that seeing that will make it less stressful for others to be open and authentic without fear, or shame.
Anyway, I’m trying to avoid getting too heavy with this topic, It’s not something I want to be preachy or humorless about, in fact, it’s something I’m very happy about. But there’s also a level of sincerity I think needs to accompany this post.
So, here’s an important part - what can you do to help?
The easiest way to help is just to treat me like you always have, but, there are a few things to keep in mind -
Please use my preferred pronouns. I am a woman, and as such, please refer to me as she/her. Even when I’m not in earshot, it’s important to make an effort to use the correct pronouns, because not doing so carries with it the unspoken implication that my identity is invalid, and that I’m not really a woman, or that I’m going through a phase or something like that.
This doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to slip up, or make mistakes, everyone does, hell I still do. But, if you make an effort, it would mean the world to me.
Raimu is still fine, it’s gender neutral… which in retrospect is probably why I loved the name so much.
If you know me in real life, first off, hi! This is awkward isn’t it!?
But seriously, if you see me at the rink, please refer to me as Char (Short for Charlotte, but Char is fine for casual conversation, plus it’s not quite as gender coded as I still don’t really LOOK feminine.). Again, all I can ask is a best effort, and that you try not to deadname me (that is, use my given masculine name).
And in general, if you ever meet somebody in your life who is trans, or is considering transitioning, or is anywhere in the process, the same applies, ask them their preferred pronouns, offer to use their preferred name, these are little things but they mean more than you could possibly imagine to somebody who’s questioning their identity, and is scared to ask.
That’s about it for this post, if you have any questions, feel free to ask, my personal messages are always open as well. I’m pretty open about the whole process if you’re respectful about it.
It’s still slow for hockey talk, so, I thought it would be a good time to address the elephant in the room for some of you who may have noticed a few things.
Anyway, I’ll cut to the chase, you may have noticed I changed my gender indicator, this is because I am transgender.
I am a trans woman, which, for those who are unclear, means that I was assigned male at birth, but I feel more comfortable living my life as a woman. I am currently in the process of transitioning, meaning, I’m taking hormones to change my body (as well as exercise, growing my hair out, etc.). This is going to be a long process, but it’s something I feel I need to do.
I know this may not come as a surprise to all of you, but for those who are shocked, even those who feel a bit uncomfortable with the idea - that’s okay. You’re allowed to have feelings regarding this, all I ask is that you make an effort.
Some of you may never understand what gender dysphoria feels like, you may not understand why somebody would feel the need to transition from one gender to another, or live somewhere in between, and that’s ok. All I ask is that you make an effort to make me, and other trans folk in your life more comfortable.
Why did I think this was important to post?
Well, first and foremost, I’m not like I’m doing it for attention or anything, I just am sick of hiding it.
In an ideal world, that’s all I’d have to say, and I know for some of you, it is, and I thank you for that. However as much as Trans acceptance might be in a better place than it ever has been, It’s also true that we’re still very much seen as a deviation from the norm, or worse seen as weird or to be kept at arm's length.
I want to at least challenge that perception, I really don’t want to sound self-important, but I think over the years I have garnered at least some respect in the community, not just here, but the local hockey community in general.
If you have any respect for me, I just ask that you remember I’m fundamentally the same person now as I always have been, just in some slightly different packaging. If you respect me, I want you to internalize that you do have respect for a trans person, and that as people, we’re worthy of your respect and understanding.
I also want to make it easier for others to come out as well. I have faith in our community that I’ll be accepted, and that seeing that will make it less stressful for others to be open and authentic without fear, or shame.
Anyway, I’m trying to avoid getting too heavy with this topic, It’s not something I want to be preachy or humorless about, in fact, it’s something I’m very happy about. But there’s also a level of sincerity I think needs to accompany this post.
So, here’s an important part - what can you do to help?
The easiest way to help is just to treat me like you always have, but, there are a few things to keep in mind -
Please use my preferred pronouns. I am a woman, and as such, please refer to me as she/her. Even when I’m not in earshot, it’s important to make an effort to use the correct pronouns, because not doing so carries with it the unspoken implication that my identity is invalid, and that I’m not really a woman, or that I’m going through a phase or something like that.
This doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to slip up, or make mistakes, everyone does, hell I still do. But, if you make an effort, it would mean the world to me.
Raimu is still fine, it’s gender neutral… which in retrospect is probably why I loved the name so much.
If you know me in real life, first off, hi! This is awkward isn’t it!?
But seriously, if you see me at the rink, please refer to me as Char (Short for Charlotte, but Char is fine for casual conversation, plus it’s not quite as gender coded as I still don’t really LOOK feminine.). Again, all I can ask is a best effort, and that you try not to deadname me (that is, use my given masculine name).
And in general, if you ever meet somebody in your life who is trans, or is considering transitioning, or is anywhere in the process, the same applies, ask them their preferred pronouns, offer to use their preferred name, these are little things but they mean more than you could possibly imagine to somebody who’s questioning their identity, and is scared to ask.
That’s about it for this post, if you have any questions, feel free to ask, my personal messages are always open as well. I’m pretty open about the whole process if you’re respectful about it.