Post by Jack Bauer on Mar 1, 2019 16:42:46 GMT -4
Stolen from the twitter feed of @ryanclassic...if you're not an Ottawa fan be prepared to feel really friggin good about your own teams current place in the NHL:
The Ottawa Senators since losing in game 7 of the Eastern Conference Final. Take a deep breath, everyone...
• Bryan Murray passes away
• Owner Eugene Melnyk threatens fans at outdoor game that he'll move team
• Melnyk tells Brent Wallace he'll "bury" him
More
• Most talented player in franchise history, Erik Karlsson, put on trade block
• Assistant GM Randy Lee accused of sexually harassing 19-year old bus driver
• Melnyk hires the Larry Flynt lawyer to represent Randy Lee
• New COO has to be hired before Randy Lee is suspended
More
• Randy Lee steps down
• After months, new assistant GM is finally hired
• Mike Hoffman’s girlfriend stalks and harasses Erik Karlsson and his wife online
• Fan favourite Turris is shipped off
• Team traded potential 1st-overall pick in 2019 for one year of Matt Duchene
More
• Started "rebuild" two months later
• Fans started revolt against owner, erecting billboards
• Daniel Alfredsson leaves again, this time from the front office
• Alfredsson later says to reporter he hopes a new owner comes soon
• Melnyk fires CEO, named himself new CEO
More
• Erik Karlsson’s son is stillborn
• Craig Anderson and Mike Condon have career-awful seasons
• Anderson reportedly asks for trade, is still on team
• Condon has an even worse start to the next season, is never heard from again
• Not enough money for ushers in the third deck
More
• First town hall meeting allowed reporters but banned recording gear and laptops
• Town hall meeting where owner said Alfredsson wanted to leave
• Promise made to not trade Erik Karlsson at draft and make a contract offer
More
• Karlsson turns down offer that, allegedly, had no no trade protection
• Karlsson traded for Six Assets
• Karlsson states he believes if he'd signed offer he'd have been traded anyway
• Karlsson does not thank owner on way out
More
• Jonathan Pitre passes away
• Clarke MacArthur forced to retire from concussions
• Dion Phaneuf traded to LA, his retained salary is now 2nd-highest paid D
• Onesies with the team logo on it have been recalled for being a choking hazard
More
• Cody Ceci accidentally sets friend's girlfriend on fire
• Melnyk and Borowiecki have Twin Peaks-level interview
• When asked what fans can look forward to, Dorion pauses for over 5 seconds
• "We're a team"
• O logo replaced at centre ice by 3D centurion
More
• Team refuses to refund season tickets after Karlsson trade
• Season tickets down by 4,000
• Opening night heavy balls are dropped on fans
• Uber video showing players roasting assistant coach and defence
More
• Postmedia refuses to take down video, Ken Warren kicked off team charter
• Something called furry night actually referring to pets happens
• Team forgets to hire promo photographer for LGBTQ night until a week before event
• Team adopts dog, immediately go on losing streak
More
• Melnyk tells a group of sponsors - in Toronto - the team will spend near the cap in 2021
• "Five years of unparalleled success"
• Keith Tkachuk publicly states he wants Mark Stone signed to keep helping his son
More
• Matt Duchene traded to Columbus for Multiple Assets
• Ryan Dzingel traded a day later to Columbus for Multiple Assets
• Mark Stone traded to Vegas days later for Three Assets
• Duchene and Stone both say they received fair offers from Senators, decided not to sign
More
• Stone agrees to deal with Vegas in 30 minutes
• Stone says he likes Vegas' owners's commitment to winning
• Melnyk caught on video saying Stone trade has been planned for some time
• Six players remain from 2017 playoff roster
More
• Coach Guy Boucher fired under 24 hours after Dorion says decision will be made in spring
• Dorion jokes around during Boucher firing press conference
• Every single press release includes "rebuild" in some form
• Downtown arena deal starts and stops multiple times
More
• Pro-Melnyk Twitter bots use stock photos of women's faces
• Aimee Deziel, Chief Marketing Officer, says there are as many anti-Melnyk bots as pro-Melnyk bots
• Lebreton Flats Facts dot com
• Melnyk sues former Lebreton co-developer for $750M, is countersued for $1B
More
• Arbitrator brought in, deal falls completely apart
• Pierre Dorion refers to Mark Stone trade as his proudest moment as GM
• Dorion does not think there's a disconnect between team and fans
• Dorion inexplicably doxxes himself at Navan Arena
More
• Post-trade deadline radio call-in show lasts 12 hours
• After trading top six scorers from last season, Dorion tells team "no excuses"
• Doug MacLean and Brian Burke roast Dorion and Melnyk on Sportsnet
The Ottawa Senators since losing in game 7 of the Eastern Conference Final. Take a deep breath, everyone...
• Bryan Murray passes away
• Owner Eugene Melnyk threatens fans at outdoor game that he'll move team
• Melnyk tells Brent Wallace he'll "bury" him
More
• Most talented player in franchise history, Erik Karlsson, put on trade block
• Assistant GM Randy Lee accused of sexually harassing 19-year old bus driver
• Melnyk hires the Larry Flynt lawyer to represent Randy Lee
• New COO has to be hired before Randy Lee is suspended
More
• Randy Lee steps down
• After months, new assistant GM is finally hired
• Mike Hoffman’s girlfriend stalks and harasses Erik Karlsson and his wife online
• Fan favourite Turris is shipped off
• Team traded potential 1st-overall pick in 2019 for one year of Matt Duchene
More
• Started "rebuild" two months later
• Fans started revolt against owner, erecting billboards
• Daniel Alfredsson leaves again, this time from the front office
• Alfredsson later says to reporter he hopes a new owner comes soon
• Melnyk fires CEO, named himself new CEO
More
• Erik Karlsson’s son is stillborn
• Craig Anderson and Mike Condon have career-awful seasons
• Anderson reportedly asks for trade, is still on team
• Condon has an even worse start to the next season, is never heard from again
• Not enough money for ushers in the third deck
More
• First town hall meeting allowed reporters but banned recording gear and laptops
• Town hall meeting where owner said Alfredsson wanted to leave
• Promise made to not trade Erik Karlsson at draft and make a contract offer
More
• Karlsson turns down offer that, allegedly, had no no trade protection
• Karlsson traded for Six Assets
• Karlsson states he believes if he'd signed offer he'd have been traded anyway
• Karlsson does not thank owner on way out
More
• Jonathan Pitre passes away
• Clarke MacArthur forced to retire from concussions
• Dion Phaneuf traded to LA, his retained salary is now 2nd-highest paid D
• Onesies with the team logo on it have been recalled for being a choking hazard
More
• Cody Ceci accidentally sets friend's girlfriend on fire
• Melnyk and Borowiecki have Twin Peaks-level interview
• When asked what fans can look forward to, Dorion pauses for over 5 seconds
• "We're a team"
• O logo replaced at centre ice by 3D centurion
More
• Team refuses to refund season tickets after Karlsson trade
• Season tickets down by 4,000
• Opening night heavy balls are dropped on fans
• Uber video showing players roasting assistant coach and defence
More
• Postmedia refuses to take down video, Ken Warren kicked off team charter
• Something called furry night actually referring to pets happens
• Team forgets to hire promo photographer for LGBTQ night until a week before event
• Team adopts dog, immediately go on losing streak
More
• Melnyk tells a group of sponsors - in Toronto - the team will spend near the cap in 2021
• "Five years of unparalleled success"
• Keith Tkachuk publicly states he wants Mark Stone signed to keep helping his son
More
• Matt Duchene traded to Columbus for Multiple Assets
• Ryan Dzingel traded a day later to Columbus for Multiple Assets
• Mark Stone traded to Vegas days later for Three Assets
• Duchene and Stone both say they received fair offers from Senators, decided not to sign
More
• Stone agrees to deal with Vegas in 30 minutes
• Stone says he likes Vegas' owners's commitment to winning
• Melnyk caught on video saying Stone trade has been planned for some time
• Six players remain from 2017 playoff roster
More
• Coach Guy Boucher fired under 24 hours after Dorion says decision will be made in spring
• Dorion jokes around during Boucher firing press conference
• Every single press release includes "rebuild" in some form
• Downtown arena deal starts and stops multiple times
More
• Pro-Melnyk Twitter bots use stock photos of women's faces
• Aimee Deziel, Chief Marketing Officer, says there are as many anti-Melnyk bots as pro-Melnyk bots
• Lebreton Flats Facts dot com
• Melnyk sues former Lebreton co-developer for $750M, is countersued for $1B
More
• Arbitrator brought in, deal falls completely apart
• Pierre Dorion refers to Mark Stone trade as his proudest moment as GM
• Dorion does not think there's a disconnect between team and fans
• Dorion inexplicably doxxes himself at Navan Arena
More
• Post-trade deadline radio call-in show lasts 12 hours
• After trading top six scorers from last season, Dorion tells team "no excuses"
• Doug MacLean and Brian Burke roast Dorion and Melnyk on Sportsnet